Dogs, irrespective of shape, size or breed can melt most hearts in a matter of seconds. Built on love and helped along by round innocent eyes and playful nature, the relationships that humans share with these four-legged creatures is nothing short of precious. The feelings are pretty similar in India as well, with praise for a dog’s character even present in some of our oldest stories.

However, in the modern age, there is a general lack of awareness or preference for Indian dog breeds and a puzzling preference for foreign ones.

“More than bad, it is quite pathetic because people often just equate all Indian dogs under one banner of indies, or strays which is not true. And while doing so, they are also underestimating the potential and beauty of an indie dog or stray. This sadly, stems from the idea whereby dogs are bought for the show, not for love,” says Rajeev Kumar, Pune-based pet-parent and co-founder of pet startup called PetYo.

Through his organisation, Rajeev has been trying to spread more awareness about Indian breed dogs, some of which are even pedigree breeds with various potentials. He aims to educate people that in terms of capacity, our Indian breeds are no less than the foreign breeds.

And this point found prominence, recently during Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s monthly Mann ki Baat radio address on Sunday, where he encouraged Indians to adopt Indian breeds if planning for pets.

“I have been told that Indian breed dogs are very good and capable. Among the Indian breeds, Mudhol hound and Himachali hound are of excellent pedigree. Rajapalayam, Kanni, Chippiparai and Combai are also fabulous Indian breeds. They cost less to raise and are better adapted to the Indian environment and surroundings,” he said.

While this is not new information, the lack of awareness influencing the demand for these breeds had not only reduced sale or adoption of Indian breed dogs but had also hindered many breeders from continuing the legacy.

“Owing to this, even pedigree Indian dogs would be abandoned and now they are quite rare. Additionally, because of limited knowledge and less awareness, these beautiful dogs were not getting loving homes,” says Chennai-based Kamanan Yadhav, a licensed breeder who specializes in the Rajapalayam breed of dogs.

Due to neglect or poor breeding conditions because of limited demand, over the years these breeds have suffered a steep decline in their population. But, Madurai-based Krishnan Ramanan, a fourth-generation owner of Delkrisline kennels that trains Combai and Rajapalayam breeds for competitions, feels that spreading more awareness through social media and now the mention by PM Modi, can help in changing the situation.

Here’s a list of striking lesser-known swadeshi breeds you should consider next time when planning a pet.

Rajapalayam

Believed to have originated in South India, specifically Tamil Nadu, the royal Rajapalayam breed is named after the state’s Rajapalayam city of Virudhunagar district and was historically used to guard palaces and even fight wars.

Lean, muscular with a thin white coat, these dogs were often used as hound dogs and have been recorded in history for being trained to fight alongside soldiers in Polygar and Carnatic wars against the East India Company from during 1799 to 1805. Owing to this they are also known as Polygar hounds.

Bakarwal

An ancient breed of working dogs, found throughout the Pir Panjal range in the Himalayas, was historically domesticated by Bakarwal and Gujjar nomadic tribes, as livestock guardian dogs. These days they are also trained as militant dogs for law enforcement bodies in the country.

Heavy built, strong with a fluffy coat, Bakarwal dogs are majestic and are well-suited in the colder parts of India.

Bully Kutta

Known as the Indian Mastiff, this breed of large working dogs originates from the 16th century, in the Indian subcontinent. Similar to a bulldog, this muscular breed of dogs is mostly trained in hunting and patrol, it is commonly found across Punjab, Haryana and Delhi.

Historically, this is another dog that was commonly domesticated by the royals, even in Thanjavur. Some reports even mention that the Mughal emperor Akbar once had a Bully Kutta who would often accompany him during hunting trips.

Mudhol Hound

Found in parts of Karnataka and Maharashtra, the Mudhol Hound is known for its elegant gait and sharp muscular appearance. Named after an erstwhile princely state Mudhon that was once a part of Bombay Presidency in British India, this dog is said to be bred by the 17th century Maratha king, Chhatrapati Shivaji, to be used in his army.

Bred from a strain of the Caravan Hound, these slender and sleek hunting dogs were reportedly presented by King Malojirao Ghorpade of Mudhol to King George V of England during his visit to the United Kingdom. It was at the time that the English King christened the dogs as the ‘Hounds of Mudhol’.

Chippiparai and Kanni

A sighthound breed, Chippiparai, or kanni (which means pure) is a breed from Tamil Nadu known for its fierce loyalty and hunting prowess. Since the Wildlife Protection Act of 1972, these grey-hound lookalikes are now used as guard dogs.

Like Mudhol and Rajapalayam, these dogs were also bred by royal families of Tirunelveli and Madurai in Chippiparai, Virudhunagar district of Tamil Nadu.

Gaddi Kutta

Also known as Himachali hounds or mastiff, Gaddi Kutta dogs are large and extremely fluffy, owing to their native region being parts of the western Himalayas and parts of Himachal Pradesh and Uttarakhand. Although originally bred as hunting dogs, they are now widely used by local shepherds, a South Asian tribe called the Gaddis, for protection.

This breed is heavy-built, thick fur and size equips this mastiff to not only survive extreme climate conditions but also deflect attacks from wild animals around, especially as guard dogs for livestock.

Combai

Originating in the hilly regions of Western Ghats, Combais are known for their perseverance and loyalty. Although lack of awareness and demand for domestication has pushed it to the brink of extinction like Rajapalayam and other rare breeds, Combai dogs are extremely intelligent, sharp and powerful.

Excellent as guard dogs, this breed of tan-coloured dogs is known to be energetic, fierce and equally friendly. Like other rare breeds in the region, they were also historically used for boar hunting and guarding needs. Recently, the CRPF recruited Combai dogs for their Dog Breeding and Training School.

Kumaon Mastiff

Fierce and powerful, this dog breed from Uttarakhand is considered to be one of India’s most prized home guardians. Originally known to guard and protect livestock of villagers in the hilly areas of Kumaon, this breed is also at the verge of extinction, and that only a few hundred of them continue to exist today.

Muscular with a short and soft coat and a thick neck, Kumaon Mastiffs’ appearance is quite similar to that of old Great Danes.

Vikhan Sheepdog

A rare short-fur breed of dogs that originated in Himachal Pradesh, Vikhan dogs are usually bred to guard livestock. Known to be fearless and courageous they are extremely fast and are said to run as fast as leopards.
Owing to their luxuriant coats, these dogs are also compared to the breed of Giant Rough Collies from Scotland.

Pandikona

Another ancient hunting dog found in Andhra Pradesh, this breed originated in the Pattikonda taluk of the Kurnool district. A medium-sized hound well-suited to harsh climate conditions, this breed was commonly domesticated by shepherd families as a guard dog.

Known for their protective instincts and intelligence, Pandikona dogs are extremely courageous and friendly all at the same time, making them one of the best options for watchdogs.

While most of these breeds are dwindling in numbers, ethical breeders and conservationists like Krishnan Ramanan are making efforts to revive them.

“For us this is not a business, it is our passion. We love dogs and hate to see these breeds being denied happy homes or human companions because of lack of awareness. But things have started to change since 2015, especially in South India, owing to the debate that roused around the Jallikattu controversy. More dog lovers are now looking to adopt or buy native breeds and are willing to educate themselves more. It is a dream for people like us who have dedicated their lives to the conservation of these breeds,” says Ramanan.

Featured image credits: iah_jazzi

(Edited by Gayatri Mishra)

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While many of us are shifting from using plastic bags to carrying cloth or paper bags, these eco-friendly alternatives come with a drawback. They’re difficult to use when carrying fish, milk packets, and other damp items.

Dhananjay Hegde from Karwar in Karnataka also faced a similar problem.

“The state banned plastic bags in 2016, and many businesses opted for alternatives and even switched to using non-woven bags. But these bags are made from polypropylene and polyester, a form of plastic, and circulated in the market under the garb of being eco-friendly,” Dhananjay, a retired mechanical engineer, tells The Better India.

Dhananjay says that another peculiar issue he observed after the ban was that fish and meat sellers continued using plastic bags. “It is unfeasible to carry such food items in a paper or cloth bag, and there are no helpful alternatives. Moreover, paper bags cannot carry items weighing more than half a kilo,” he adds.

So Dhananjay has conceived bags made from newspaper using unique stitching techniques and corn powder that carry weight up to 10 kilos, do not leak, easily hold the meat and other damp items without clogging it. He has also built a machine to make the product commercially viable.

A bag with multiple benefits

Dhananjay says he wanted to make a bag that was strong and durable. “I decided to use scrap newspapers for the task and tried to reinforce a double sheet paper by adding stitches with the banana plant fibre. The material is eco-friendly and available locally,” he explains.

He adds that later, he decided to double the stitching inside the first at a gap of 1 cm. “The added strength allowed the bag to carry weight up to 5-10 kilos. But it could still not carry items with wet surfaces. When I tried, the paper clogged as it came in contact with liquid substances,” he says.

Dhananjay then decided to add a protective layer to the bag. “I researched for environment-friendly and natural materials and found that corn resin or gum could act as a layer to waterproof the paper bags,” he says.

He adds that he succeeded after a few experiments. “The gum prevented the water from coming in contact with the paper and held liquids without allowing any penetration in the layer,” he says.

To test his prototype, Dhananjay started carrying it to his office. “I used it almost daily, and many colleagues in the office inquired about it. I made some for them, and they used them to carry fish. Moreover, the bag costs Rs 2, as against Rs 5 or Rs 10 cloth bags in the market,” he says.

He added a layer of white paper to prevent toxic chemicals from newspapers from touching the corn starch layer and food.

To make the bags commercially viable, Dhananjay roped in his friend Dattatreya Bhatt to conceive a prototype device that can roll out multiple bags.

“We made the device using PVC pipes and pre-fabricated steel structures. The aim behind building a machine was to create dimensionally accurate and durable bags,” Dhananjay says, adding that he implemented the principles used in cloth weaving machines to blend with his unique pressing technique.

“A weaving machine can cost between Rs 15 and Rs 20 lakh, but our machine works on manual inputs producing ready paper for the bag for Rs 1.5 lakh. It can produce stitched paper rolls to make 300 small bags per day, but can vary depending on the user,” Dhananjay says, adding the rolled out stitched paper can easily fold into a bag.

He notes that 35 businesses have approached him to commercialise the bags. “I am ready to install the machine for free for commercial entities or people who wish to explore employment opportunities. I have identified an additional ten products that can be made similarly, including paper plates and other single-use items. We are working towards developing an improved model for the same,” he adds.

“I am glad that the innovation has worked and has the potential to generate employment and address the environmental crisis,” he says.

Edited by Divya Sethu

Shubhlakshmi Shukla writes this article titled ‘Narmada panchayat officials don role of orphans’ parent’ in the Indian Express.

In this article, she states that over 100 officials working at the Narmada District Panchayat office have decided to contribute towards the education of 175 orphans in that area. This project is termed as Shanta Sukhai which translates to Self Satisfaction.

Excerpts:

From Monday onwards, all the orphans will be admitted to the district’s 13 grant-in-aid schools. The district office will provide them with the stationary. At present, around Rs 1.75 lakh are collected by the district Panchayat officials.

District Development Officer (DDO) B C Chaudhary said: “Of the 175 children, mostly are in the age group of five to six years and a few are teenagers. One girl, Gita Gadhvi, will be admitted to the first-year BA course. We might also widen the project by providing financial help to the girls for their marriage after they complete their education.”

Read the complete article here.

The Students of Symbiosis Infotech Campus (SIC) have come together to contribute towards providing better quality education for slum children.  The group is called Prayatna and their intention is to enrich the experience that the slum children get from the government run schools that they attend. Preeti Srivastav writes in this article in the Indian Express.

“These children do attend their government-run schools, but they needed that extra looking after to make themselves more competent. We not only take classes for them on our campus but have also got them admitted in a good English medium school for their better education,” says Chauhan, adding, “We have to catch them young as it becomes difficult to shift them from a Hindi or vernacular medium schools to a English medium one.”

The really interesting part is the source of the funds for this activity:

Not neglecting the funds, he said that they were paying Rs 7000 per children to the school, which in turn takes care of all the needs of the children – from fees to books to uniforms. When asked about the source of funds, Chauhan explained that SIC students conduct film festivals and games through which they collect money for the children. They also collect old clothes and books from SIC students. However the noble idea was of alumni adopting the children.

It is truly wonderful that as part of their college activities the students are able to source funds and provide for a better education for the lesser privileged children of our country. We hope that this model will act as a source of inspiration for many other colleges across India to give back something to the society.
And the work just doesn’t seem to stop at providing classroom education, as the article goes on to say:

Apart from the schooling, they also have many activities lined up for the kids.”We bring them to our campus five times a week and give them classes for english, maths, science, personality development, general knowledge and so on. We also take them for games and sports. We show them inspirational documentaries,” says Chauhan.

One of the objectives with which The Better India was started is to spread awareness and create a sense of social contribution amidst our citizens. Hence, for us it is heartening to note that today’s students are already treading this path of spreading welfare! We wish Prayatna all the very best in their ongoing endeavors and look forward to many more school children receiving quality education from SIC and other similar college bodies.

Read the complete article here.

The woman behind the home is Prakash Kaur, who was herself left on the streets as a baby 60 years ago. Since 1993, she has dedicated her life to the noble but onerous mission of rescuing unwanted and unclaimed newborn girls and giving them a secure home and future.

Today, Unique Home for Girls has 60-odd residents who call Prakash Kaur mother. “They are my own children,” the lady says. “They are never made to feel like abandoned children.”

As we walk around the home, it is easy to see that her claim is quite well-founded. Even as her ‘family’ expands and her responsibilities grow, Prakash Kaur’s fount of maternal compassion shows no signs of drying up.

She has touched the lives of many who’ve been cruelly shunned by their own. Siya was only a few hours old when she was found in a drain, wrapped in a black polythene bag. Reva was a newborn when her parents decided to dump her near the highway off Kapurthala. Razia and Rabiya were just a few days old when they were discovered in the fields outside Jalandhar.

These girls have all found shelter in Unique Home, where they now enjoy the real family experience that their pitiless parents chose to deprive them of simply because of their gender. The girls who live here range from the age of four days to 19 years.

Unique Home is run by a trust named after Bhai Ghanayya Ji, a disciple of Guru Gobind Singh. The trust aims to raise these children as healthy individuals and arm them with all the social skills and educational qualifications that they need to face life on their own terms. The girls could not have found a better person than Prakash Kaur for the job of providing them with support and succour.

Most of Unique Home’s inmates arrive here as hapless, barely alive foundlings. So they have no recollections of how they are brought here. But those that have grown up in the life-affirming warmth of this home are proud that they belong here.

Under Prakash Kaur’s care and tutelage, these girls are all well adjusted individuals willing and able to take their rightful place in a society that still seems to harbour a strong aversion to children of their gender.

Prakash Kaur is acutely aware of the challenges that lie before her, but she has faith. “Yeh uparwaale ka kaam hai. Jab ussney yeh zimmedaari di hai to himmat bhi wohi dega. Jab aaj tak mujhe koi mushkil nahin aayee to aagey bhi nahin aayegi. Neki key kaam mein kabhi koi rukawat nahin aati,” she says. She is obviously getting on in years but she still retains the strength to make chapatis for all the inmates of the home three times a day and seven days a week.

The first thing that strikes one in Unique Home is a small hatched box near the entrance. It is called the “cradle”. Flip open the hatch and you see a shelf built into the wall. When a rescued child is placed on the shelf, it sets off an alarm that tells the staff that they have a new girl to take care of. When it comes to christening the new arrivals, names are drawn from all the religions of India. So at Unique Home, girls have Hindu, Muslim and Christian and Sikh names and faith has no restrictions.

Although we visited Unique Home without any prior notice, Prakash Kaur ensured that we were made to feel at home. Not surprising at all coming from a lady who has dedicated her life to dispelling a bit of the darkness that engulfs Punjab, indeed all of India. The girls brought to Unique Home grow up with a sense of belonging. This is the only home they know.

For a home that houses 60-odd girls, the place looks a bit too small. The rather cramped space has limited amenities for the girls, including three small rooms that serve as bedroom, dining area and playroom, in addition to a small kitchen and an office for visitors.

The room that is meant for infants has three big cradles. Each has four to five babies sleeping in them. Unique Home has now acquired a new site and expansion plans are in place.

But living space is the least of the home’s problems for the hearts here are big. This is like a huge family where the older girls take care of the younger ones. We are told by the founder that the girls go to good English medium schools like Saint Mary’s in Mussoorie. A few have since been married into suitable homes. But Prakash Kaur’s responsibility does not end there.

She continues to keep a watch over the girls even after they are married. She fights for their rights if the in-laws prove to be difficult. Take the case of former Unique Home inmate Alka. When her husband died prematurely, her in-laws grabbed all her property and threw her out of the house. Prakash Kaur intervened and fought tooth and nail. She eventually managed to secure for Alka her rightful share in the family property.

So far Prakash Kaur has organised the marriages of 17 of the Unique Home inmates. While a few of these girls graduated from college before they got married, the remaining tied the knot after passing out of high school. However, several of the older girls here have decided not to marry and instead dedicate themselves, like Prakash Kaur, to the service of Unique Home.

April 24 is a very special day at Unique Home. It is the day when the children here collectively celebrate their birthday. A huge 100-kg cake is cut and the day is marked by much merriment. That apart, once every year, during the summer holidays, the inmates of Unique Home go on a trip to Darjeeling.

On our visit to the home, we ate lunch with the children. The food was simple but delicious: rice, chapatis and aloo gobhi. Prakash Kaur made fresh chapatis for all the 60 children.

“We don’t want to give our kids up for adoption. People come to us but we refuse,” says Prakash Kaur. Although she did not give us any specific details, she told us that she knows of many cases in which adopted girls have been ill treated.

Prakash Kaur herself has no idea who her parents were. She was found abandoned and grew up in a Nari Niketan. She describes the work she does today as “the lord’s work”.

Asked if she ever faced any mistreatment in the Nari Niketan where she grew up, she smiles and says: “I will never allow my daughters to work as maids anywhere.”

The most essential part of this home is that the children are aware of the fact that their real parents have abandoned them because they are obsessed with boys. But this poisonous truth has only strengthened their resolve to prove themselves. Sheeba, who studies in a convent school in Mussoorie, wants to be a successful neurosurgeon.

“I want my real mother to know that the daughter she threw out of her life is well established. I want to be very famous. I want to prove to her that girls are not a burden,” she says. Sheeba has always stood first in her class with A-plus grades. She is determined to make it to a good medical college.

Lucy is 19 years old. She wants to be a professor of English. “I believe that education is the only way forward in this society which discriminates against girl children,” she says.

Punjab has one of India’s most skewed sex ratios. The percentage of women in the state’s population keeps dipping every year. A growing shortage of marriageable girls has forced men here to find partners in different cultures and states.

“When French President Nicolas Sarkozy and his wife Carla Bruni came to India, they prayed for a boy. I was shocked. I used to think that Westerners treat both genders equally. He could have asked for a girl. It would have sent out a message to the people of India. It’s rather sad,” says Prakash Kaur. The French first couple prayed for a son at the Fatehpur Sikri dargah of Sufi saint Salim Chishti.

Female foeticide is on the rise, especially among the educated class and in higher strata of society. It has assumed alarming proportions. According to NGOs working with issues related to women, every year, 10 lakh cases of female foeticide take place in the country with the help of gender determination tests. The death of young girls in India exceed those of young boys by over 300,000 each year and every 6th infant death is specifically due to gender discrimination.

According to Anjalee Shenoy of Sama Resource Centre for Women and Health, new techniques like PGD (pre-implant genetic diagnosis), a method that involves producing embryos through IVF, cannot just help you decide the gender of the child but the colour of skin and hair. And there is no effective law in place right now to stop this practice. “This falls under the Pre-conception and Pre-natal Diagnostic Techniques (Prohibition of Sex Selection) Act, 1994, but it is going undetected,” says Shenoy.

But there is hope yet. If only Prakash Kaur’s selfless spirit would rub off on society at large.

Amid all the depressing news we have been receiving on the deplorable situation of the girl child in India, especially from the northern patriarchal states of Haryana, Punjab and Uttar Pradesh, here are a few stories that give us hope. These are women, and also some men, who have adopted and cared for abandoned little girls despite their own dire conditions, and many times against the wishes of their family. This is courage and compassion in its purest form.

It was a cool and quiet afternoon in October 2010. Nirmala was walking back from the Community Health Centre (CHC) in Savansa, a small village in Maharajganj block, Jaunpur district of Uttar Pradesh (UP). Her mother was working at the health centre as a ‘dai’, or trained midwife, and she had gone there to meet her. That’s when she heard a strange mewling sound.

Nirmala narrated the story, “It sounded like a baby was crying, but I looked around and there was no one around. Then I discovered that the sound was emanating from the storeroom of the health centre.” The room was not in use, its window panes were broken and there was a lot of rubbish strewn around.

Continued Nirmala, “I opened the door and what I saw made me shriek. A newborn baby was lying on the pieces of broken glass wrapped in a torn vest. The baby must have been crying for a long while – its face had a bluish tinge, and its mouth was parched.” Even as she recalled this, tears roll down her cheeks. This incident changed her life.

The first thing Nirmala did was to pick the baby up and breastfeed her. She was able to do this because she had only recently stopped feeding her six month old daughter. She then tried to find out whose daughter this was, lying so helplessly amidst the debris of an abandoned room. She went to the nearby hospital to try and locate the real parents, but no one could give her any information.

Eventually, Nirmala brought the baby home and had her treated at a private nursing home in the city since there was no facility for proper childcare at Savansa. That was when she came against a huge challenge. She already had three sons and a daughter. Her husband and his family could not tolerate the thought of having another girl child in the family. This led to a serious disagreement between Nirmala and her husband, and before long she found herself thrown out of her matrimonial home along with the children.

Nirmala, and her brood of five, found shelter in her parents’ house. Endowed with a sense of self respect, she decided to work as a labourer to support the now much extended family. Finances ran low. She and her brothers together earned less than Rs 6,000 every month – hardly enough to support a family of 15. Yet, fortunately for Nirmala, her parental family had no problems with welcoming its new member. The child, now named Ankita, is today a much loved member of the household.

Nirmala was one of several courageous women of the state to have fought with her own relatives to save the life of a baby girl. The social action group, ActionAid, which has been working on the issue of India’s skewed sex ratio through its campaign, ‘Himmat Hai Jine Ki’ (Courage to Live), honoured her – along with 14 other women and two men, who have, despite their desperately poor personal circumstances, adopted girl children abandoned by their biological parents.

The honours list included Sunita Yadav from Hisaba village of Baghpat district, who had brought home a five year old girl whom she found begging on a village pathway. Named Puja, she is studying in Class Five in a private school today. Then there was Rekha, 45, a midwife from Chitrakoot district, who despite being a mother to seven children and a grandmother to three, adopted an infant girl abandoned at the hospital by an unwed mother. “Since the mother was not married she asked me to kill the child. I couldn’t do that, so I took responsibility for that innocent life,” said Rekha simply. She named her child Pari, or fairy. Rekha’s husband is a rickshaw puller. Fortunately, he did not object to his wife’s action.

Another woman honoured by ActionAid was Shivkumari, from Kuthound block of Jalaun district. She comes from a fisher community and has personally influenced 13 women from seeking sex selective abortions under family pressure.

These illiterate, marginalised women and men have shown their ability to understand the basic principle of gender equality in a predominantly patriarchal society like that of northern Indian, where son preference is the norm. According to the latest Census figure, UP’s child sex ratio stands at 899 girls for 1000 boys, which is much lower than the national average of 914/1000, a figure that is itself disturbing.

According to Debabrata Patra, Regional Manager, ActionAid Lucknow, what was alarming was that this decline was no longer confined to the districts closer to Delhi and Haryana. Said Patra, “It is widespread across the state. It cuts across all classes and rural-urban divides.” This despite the Pre-Natal Diagnostic Technique (Regulation and Prevention of Misuse), or PCPNDT, Act, which criminalises sex selective abortions.

Vatsalya, a Lucknow-based organisation, which has been relentlessly working on curbing sex selective abortions, analysed the data from the 2001 and 2011 Census to estimate the number of missing girl children. Said Dr Neelam Singh, Chief Functionary, Vatsalya, “Going by the statistics, over 700,000 girls are missing between 2005 and 2011. This means that at the national level, more than 100,000 girls go missing every year, which means more than 10,000 every month and over 300 every day!” She reiterated the need to implement urgently the PCPNDT Act in letter and spirit, even as efforts to change mindsets carry on apace.

But clearly there was something to be learnt from the actions and responses of the 15 women who went against the grain and demonstrated to their community, and the world, the value of the life of the girl child. Joanna Kerr, International CEO, ActionAid, who was present when Nirmala and three others were being honoured, put it this way, “I praise, respect and salute these women who have saved so many lives.”

She went on to narrate her own story, “In 1966, my mother was pregnant with her third child. She already had two daughters and was keen to have a son. I was already named Andrew. Since there was no technology at that time to determine the sex of the child, I was allowed to live. If my mother had not allowed me to be born I wouldn’t have been able to meet so many courageous women today. In the same way, there are so many prime ministers, engineers, doctors, scientists, who are not with us today only because they were not allowed to be born.”

Today we bring you a unique story. A story of two people with exemplary courage, spirit and ideals. A story that shows, more than any Bollywood movie can, that true love has a higher purpose. That marriages can achieve a lot. Even more surprisingly, what mere weddings can achieve a lot! So read, learn and be amazed.

I was thinking that morning – this is one wedding that I want to attend, that I would cherish attending, where I would delight in giving the wedding gift.
I don’t enjoy weddings. I am not into competitive dressing, competitive jewelry showcasing, latest gossip, or assessing if the bride and groom are a ‘match made in heaven’.

But this wedding, the wedding of Thilak and Dhana on June 1st 2012 was different. It was a wedding that ‘made a difference’. How?

1. The wedding reception was a fundraiser for an education fund for underprivileged children. No box gifts were allowed; only donations to the fund.
2. The children from 8 homes in Chennai were invited to the wedding reception. They joined in the celebration just as the rest of us.
3. The bride did not wear any silk clothes or expensive ornaments and the wedding followed a much-researched simple ritual attended by close relatives.

It sounds simple, doesn’t it? And yet it is so hard to actually execute! How does a bride tell her family that she does not want to get dressed up and that she wants to marry so that she can adopt? And that the groom wants to pay for the reception from his own pocket – not his parents’ or in-laws’? And that he says No to gifts? Thilak and Dhana waited almost 2 years to convince their family to do just that!

No, Dhana and Thilak were not in love when they first thought of marriage. You see, both of them are uncommon, a little odd. Dhana had been avoiding marriage, for her passion lay with animals and social work. Thilak had decided he would not marry for he was convinced that he could not find a companion who would share his social passion, his adventurous spirit, and his quiet spirituality. But Gods smiled at these two wonderful individuals and brought them together in a way that is so apt!

A little baby girl called Theresa played cupid in this couple’s life. Who is Theresa? She was a non-affected six-month old girl abandoned by her teen-aged HIV+ve mother. She first triggered motherly love in Dhana’s heart. Then Dhana proposed to Thilak, a friend then, to marry her so that she could adopt the baby. Adoption homes try to find parents before the baby turns one year as children find it difficult to adjust to new homes as they grow up. Dhana could not convince her folks in time and Theresa was adopted by another set of loving parents. But the wedding fundraiser in June was in the name of Theresa Educational Fund commemorating the love that brought these two beautiful individuals together.

I have known Thilak for sometime now. I first ran into him at the India Against Corruption movement and thereafter discovered that Thilak had dedicated his life to the welfare of the underprivileged children. He is the co-founder of Sevai Karangal along with Nandan, which monitors and supports eight Children’s homes in the city of Chennai. The organization works with a difference: They don’t just donate. Rather, they ensure people engage with the homes and the children. The monthly social treks conducted by Chennai Trekking Club take Chennaiites to celebrate their birthdays at the Children’s homes or take the children out on joyful treks.

Thilak insists that what children need is attention and love more than anything else – a sense of familiarity, a joy. He raises funds for infrastructure – he had a block built at one of the homes when he noticed the rooms were cramped for the kids. He organized for water filters after he tested the water in a couple of the homes. He raises funds for their school books and stationery and uniforms. He raises funds for their education. He, along with other volunteers, organizes Diwali events at the homes. He also supports an Old Age home. Till date he has channelized close to Rs. 7 lacs to the various homes in about 4 years.

And he monitors closely if the money is being utilized effectively, if the children are being taken care of properly. I remember once I was travelling with him to a meeting, when he asked if I would accompany him to a surprise visit at a home nearby. We bought some goodies for the kids and dropped in. Thilak later explained that these sudden visits help him gauge the real situation and also keeps the pressure on caretakers at the homes.

Besides engagement and funding, the organization has set-up a mentorship project called Navigator, akin to the Big Brother Big Sister program in United States and workshops to improve creative skills in the children.

No, Thilak is not from any rich family. The poor guy shuffles his time between work and passion so that he can sustain himself as well as provide for his passion. Dhana is not a rich girl either. She is rich in her heart.

As these two ordinary citizens of our country took those seven steps to bind themselves in matrimony, they did more than that – they set an example for others to follow, they gave meaning to the structure called marriage, they brought hope in the lives of so many children, they brought faith back to cynical hearts. We salute their spirit and their ideals.

Take a moment to meet Shibumon and Elizabeth – a couple who have come a long, long way from their home in Kerala to live among a marginalized community of snake charmers in the outskirts of Delhi, so that they can give the children there a chance at life! Read a story that will take your breath away and restore your faith in humanity!

Let me introduce you to Blessy, she is the sixth ‘child’ of Shibumon & Elizabeth, and sister to Blesson and ‘Blessy’ (the couple’s biological kids) and Pooja, Reetu and Reshma. Till a few days back, she was just another slum kid, abandoned by her mother even before she started speaking and kicked out of her home (if you call it so) by her relatives. Her father, a truck driver, who is rarely at home, could do nothing but witness this with teary eyes. A seven-year old kid, with dreams which she never thought would ever realize..she is Blessy.

I request you to take a moment and think about your childhood and that of Blessy’s. She is another normal kid who passed through abnormal circumstances. Today, Shibumon and Elizabeth are trying to provide her with a life and help her realize her simple dream to live.

The hero and heroine of my post is this young couple. You can read about them here: The team behind Bharat Seva Samity – and their efforts to change the lives of the kids in Mandi gaon (on the border of Delhi & Gurgaon). Honestly, I don’t find myself eligible to speak about them.

When a good friend, a college senior and a serial entrepreneur, Vivek Jhorar, first asked me to join him to Mandi gaon – all i thought was about my negative bank balance and the amount i could donate to another NGO. But, hearing about this couple’s 13 odd year struggle to educate the kids of Sapera Basti (i prefer to call it Mandi gaon) was an eye-opener.

With a ‘more than enough’ five digit salary, i often cursed myself for the career blunders i made in my life. And here, Shibu and Elizabeth are sitting in their modest one-bedroom home in Mandi gaon, telling me about their dreams to bring change in the lives of these kids, kids who otherwise would end up doing menial works or maybe, become anti-social elements. Shibu jokingly tells, “I can only follow Madam’s (Elizabeth) order” and laughs.

I looked at the kids and they reminded me of an orphan who once asked me about my family and asked me to explain how my parents love me. He was sitting on the wall of an orphanage staring at mothers walking their kids, back home from school. I was a kid then and i cried while cycling back home. That day at Mandi gaon, i was a 27 year old and I silently wept while driving back home.

My learned friends speak about change, blame the system, call Delhi a rape capital..while having their share of imported alcohol, in an AC room. Today, snake lovers are asking the folks of Sapera Basti (meaning: the basti or slum of Snake Charmers) to stop doing the only job they know. They want to protect snakes, and i hope they do – but they should also spare a thought for how folks in this slum will survive, including the kids.

And, here is a couple who left behind everything and everyone they have, traveled kilometers and days (it still takes almost 3 days to reach Delhi from Kerala), to ‘act’ for a change. I often wonder why Shibu wants to do this. He could pack his bags and move back to his parents’ house any day. It is his parents who support him and his cause, financially.

But Shibu wants to stay and be the change catalyst. His short term and long term goal is to find the right education for the other 42 kids whom he and his wife teach from their one room school (you can call it a shack) in Sapera Basti. Unlike the criticizing lot from my social circle and the wildlife activists trying to stop the slum-dwellers from performing the only job they know, Shibu and his wife wants to cultivate a young generation of civilized kids.

Every day, he struggles to meet the financial needs of his family and his mission. Every day he tries to educate the elders of Sapera Basti to take up a new and noble profession. Every day, he does what he and his wife have been doing for the past 13 years..to bring change in others’ lives. To spread colours in otherwise dark minds.

I am lucky that i had to travel only a few kilometres from where i dwell, few thousand kilometres from where i was born, to meet a couple who deserves a salute more than most people i have known in my life.

We have seen many a Bollywood film where a helpless mother leaves her crying infant outside a home or religious institution and vanishes into thin air. While those infants usually grow up to be Amitabh Bachchan, have you ever wondered if this happens in real life? And what happens to those unfortunate children left abandoned? Here we tell you about ‘Palna’, and its parent organization Delhi Council for Child Welfare, which has been taking care of such children from over six decades!

[dropcap size=small]A[/dropcap]sha Dijkastra, 34, is a confident young lady. After completing her Masters in History of Education in Holland she is now an educational consultant organizing workshops for teachers doing Bachelor of Education in Holland. Today, Asha might be a Dutch national but she traces her roots back to Delhi, India, where she was born and abandoned. She was adopted by her current Dutch parents when she was barely 5 months old. She says: “Today, after 34 years, I still feel I belong to India because of my name.”

Asha was adopted from Palna, a home for the abandoned, homeless and destitute children run by the Delhi Council for Child Welfare (DCCW). Today she is a successful professional in Holland but says she has two homes – one at Palna and one in Holland. Recently, when she was in Palna she organized a small excursion to Pratapgad Farms and took around 30 children for a picnic there. She says: “Although I haven’t lived long in India, deep down I feel a very strong connection that Palna was once my home and still is. When I’m there I feel blessed with the unconditional love and spirituality among the people.” Apart from feeling close to the children at Palna she is also raising funds for Palna. So far she has sent about 130 euros besides clothes and toys.

Asha’s is not the only success story there are many such success stories from Palna that was established in 1978, and located in Qudsia Bagh, Old Delhi

Dr Sandhya Bhalla, CEO, DCCW says that Palna is an outcome of their own learning from the past. She explains:

The forming of DCCW dates back to the time of partition when many children got lost or misplaced during the riots. The families living along the Civil Lines used to take care of these children. They did all that was required for these children. In 1952, DCCW was established as an NGO.

Then DCCW used to run a daycare centre for the Government called ‘Palna’. We used to work with various agencies and through this day care centre adoptions used to take place. Later the Government came up with a regulation to have a license for placing children in adoption. Today, we precisely have one home with a ‘Palna’ or cradle outside and we do not have any branches across Delhi for Palna.

Palna is a haven of peace, security and stability for the children who come here. Today on an average Palna looks after 90-100 children daily ranging in the age group of newborns to 8-year-olds.

The emphasis in Palna is on total care. Palna’s multi-specialty medical programme, non-formal educational sessions and recreational facilities and activities, address all aspects of children’s development, good health and overall well-being.

The Adoption programme in Palna started in 1978. Says Dr. Bhalla:

We at DCCW believe that a child does not belong in an institution, but in a family. The first effort is to trace the family and restore the child to its birth parents. When it is established that the child is abandoned or has not been claimed by its family, all efforts are made to place it in adoption.

On an average DCCW gives away 50 children in adoption annually within India and abroad. Over the last three decades the organization has placed over 2800 children in loving families, selected after rigorous screening and evaluation procedures.

Once the cradle or Palna as they call it was kept out, DCCW officials also realized that a lot of parents left their disabled or mentally challenged child there. The number only kept increasing which then prompted DCCW to start Bal Chetna programme in 2002. Bal Chetna is DCCW’s Respite Home and Day-care facility for mentally challenged children. Apart from more children being abandoned at Palna, the other impetus to start Bal Chetna for mentally challenged children was surveys done by DCCW’s crèche workers in the neighbourhoods in which they worked indicating that there was a high proportion of children with mental disabilities who were not getting the attention they needed.

An increasing number of children with cerebral palsy and children with multiple disabilities had started to come to the Orthopaedic Centre at Janakpuri for help and advice.

Today, Bal Chetna comprises residential facilities for homeless mentally challenged infants at Palna, as well as day care facilities for children from economically backward families at Janakpuri, New Seemapuri, Nithari and Sultanpuri in Delhi. Each centre has about 30 children. By providing individualized and specialized care, Bal Chetna facilitates the stimulation and development of special needs children, with the objective of making each child as self-reliant, competent and communicative as is possible.

DCCW has also been doing a lot in the educational area for children from the under-privileged families. They started an educational scholarship programme wherein they provide financial support to academically bright children from low-income families who would otherwise be forced to drop out of school due to economic constraints. Academically inclined children – including physically challenged children – from families whose monthly income is no more than Rs.4000/- are eligible for sponsorship under this programme. At present about a 1000 children receive the scholarship

Dr Bhalla says the impact of this programme has been positive with the result that it has kept the children back in school without any drop outs and secondly other children who are in the vicinity of these kids and find that they are capable of getting this scholarship are also coming forward for it.

Parents and children are both seeing value in this programme not just from being at school and excelling but also from an overall development point of view as they also get career counseling. Many of these children are doing well. Some have even got into Engineering and Medical colleges.

That’s not all. In order to impart skills to enable differently-abled children, school dropout girls as well as other children from low-income families to support themselves, DCCW started a Vocational Training programme in 1976. Through this programme they conduct training in cutting and tailoring, embroidey, painting and Beauty Courses. Informs Dr. Bhalla.

Our focus for this programme has largely been on girls in the age group of 15-18 years. To a large extent these girls are married off by their parents forcing them to drop out of schools. But, the impact of our programme has been positive with most of these girls now having a job in large beauty salons like Lakme or L’O real or having started something on their own.

It has also automatically deferred their marriage. The girls are more confident and have a sense of pride of being independent and earning for themselves and their family.

Sunita, is one such girl who has benefited from the vocational training programme. She came from a family who could barely dream of anything beyond one square meal. Sunita enrolled in DCCW’s Beauty Culture Training programme and is today running her very own beauty parlour ‘Madhu Beauty Parlour’ in Dakshin Puri.

Similarly, there is Tarannum. She belongs to a family of seven and her father is the only earning member. She came to DCCW to take a course in cutting and tailoring and now takes sewing orders from the community around her and brings in Rs. 2000 to 2500 every month. Tarannum is now dreaming big of becoming an entrepreneur, with her own shop and staff.

Currently, there are about 400 youngsters from across Delhi who register with DCCW for the vocational training programme. Bhalla and her staff are now looking to add other courses in the areas of cooking and baking.

With a mission to provide every child with a childhood and have a society where all children have all that is rightfully theirs and every opportunity to realize their potential, over the decades, DCCW’s programmes have grown and diversified to cover medical services, nutrition, vocational training, adoption, rehabilitation of physically and mentally children and the provision of day care and non-formal education to the underprivileged children of Delhi and the surrounding areas. Today, these services reach approximately 2500 children daily and are provided virtually free of cost to them.

While all these programmes are being run successfully with a staff strength of over 70 individuals, many of whom who have been with DCCW for almost two decades or more, Dr Bhalla says that they are still faced with challenges. Says Dr. Bhalla:

Our biggest challenge is that of finances. Cost of services is rising. We are thankful to our staff who have been with us for so long despite these challenges. They are with us because of our ethics and philosophy.

Running an NGO is a challenge in this country and the biggest challenge is that of raising funds and maintaining transparency. DCCW’s Bhalla says they have no issues with transparency as everything is accounted for in the books. And, according to her, it’s this working philosophy that has kept her staff here for so long despite the low salaries.

DCCW’s idea is to now build a huge corpus so that they can provide the best for their children and also take care of their staff. Towards this effort, since March 2013, DCCW has been listed on GiveIndia as a Tier1 organisation after a rigorous audit and verification process. Dr. Bhalla explains:

The partnership with GiveIndia has specifically helped us to reach out to individual donors across the world who would otherwise not have known about DCCW and the various programs undertaken and the number of children reached out to and the impact on the beneficiaries. It also helps to immediately establish our credibility when we approach corporates for support.

Going forward, Dr Bhalla and the DCCW council members are clear that irrespective of the challenges, the effort will be towards making DCCW self-sustaining. We wish DCCW the very best in their efforts and hope that many more less-privileged children realise their dreams through them.

A man in Meerut has adopted 12 boys, all of them HIV positive. He is leaving no stone unturned in giving them the happy childhood they deserve, devoid of discrimination. Read more to know how he does it and what made him do so.

At a time when AIDS awareness campaigns are rampant in our country, many HIV affected kids still stay deserted. These kids are abandoned by their relatives after the death of their parents, who too had been HIV positive.

12 such boys aged between the ages of 7 and 17, have been blessed to have found a father in Ajay Sharma of Meerut.

Ajay Sharma was working at Government Inter College, Phalawada. In 2004, he suffered a brain hemorrhage and was in coma for 15 days. After recovering from his illness, he felt he had been given a new lease of life and decided to lead this new phase dedicating himself selflessly to society.

In 2008, he got to know about an HIV positive orphan boy whose relatives killed him, packed his body in a suitcase and abandoned it on a train.

This heart wrenching incident instilled in Ajay a passion to work for such children. He quit his job and started teaching the slum children instead. In 2008, Sharma came across an HIV positive boy abandoned by his family who was on the verge of collapsing. Sharma took him to several hospitals but none was ready to admit him.

Finally, Sharma brought the boy home and took good care of him. The boy revived and got a home too. Ajay Sharma then founded the Satyakam Manav Seva Samiti (SMSS) in 2008 in Ganganagar locality of Meerut where such deserted boys are given a new home.

Aashish, aged 12, was brought to Satyakam one year back when he was showing symptoms of Tuberculosis, Low CD4 and others which an HIV positive individual shows. Today, as a result of the care he has received at SMSS, he attends school regularly and has the highest attendance in his class.

When you ring the door bell, a boy with a beaming face will come and greet you. He is one of the 12 such inhabitants of SMSS.

They are just as ‘normal’ as any of us. Mr. Ajay Sharma takes care of every boy just like a father and his wife Babita has been a continuous support to him. He looks after all their needs, from education and health care to recreation and toys.

The drive to this level has not been easy for Sharma. Initially, no one was ready to rent him a house. After great difficulties, when he finally got a house, the people in the locality posed several objections. They thought that such children would spread AIDS in the society and wanted them to leave the area. This also shows that people are still not fully aware of the fact that AIDS is not a communicable disease.

They didn’t allow their children to play with these boys. When Sharma approached schools for the admission of his sons, people objected again and didn’t want these boys to study with their children. The government too hasn’t offered any help to him.

But gradually, with the continuous efforts of Sharma, there has been a change in the attitude of the people towards him and his special family. People in the locality now happily celebrate birthdays with these children. Schools too are coming forward and offering admission to these boys.

Doctors in the neighborhood take care of the medical needs of these boys. Dr. Rajiv Prakash and Dr. Amit Pathak of the same locality opine that not only are these children very enthusiastic, they are also helping in eradicating the several prevalent myths about AIDS.

Neema Jain, a teacher of Adarsh Vidya Mandir, teaches them English, Hindi and Maths and feels that these kids are very bright too. Lokesh Sharma, who is a government employee, has been training these boys in yoga for their physical and mental well-being. Several organizations are also now extending help to SMSS.

The kids too have been given several responsibilities which also gives them a sense of attachment to the place. While one boy is responsible for welcoming the guests, another is responsible for keeping shoes in the rack.

Sadly, the fear of death and an abominable lull sometimes surrounds this otherwise chirpy home.

“One of the boys is in the second stage of the disease,” a teary eyed Ajay Sharma says.

Watch the video to know more-

Ajay Sharma’s spirit is undying. He is optimistic and hopes to increase his family. He wants to buy a bigger house where he can give shelter to 50 such children.

You too can help in this noble cause by making a donation, sponsoring a child or by simply volunteering for SMSS. For more details, visit their website. You can also visit their Facebook page or follow them on Twitter.

Like this story? Or have something to share? Write to us: contact@thebetterindia.com, or connect with us on Facebook and Twitter (@thebetterindia)

Read how Rajeshwari Sharma traveled from being completely clueless to finally adopting a baby girl. With the never ending paper work, long wait lists and legal wrangles, adoption in India is not as easy as it looks. Here is all you need to know about what might be one of the most trying but ultimately fulfilling time of your life.

“Meet the PAPs,” exclaimed our friend while introducing us to other guests at a charity dinner event hosted at a luxury hotel in Bandra. Within seconds, the grey cells were doing multiple somersaults to decode this new term the ears had just registered.

Even before I could grasp what was going on, our right hands went through at least a dozen handshakes and congratulatory messages as my reaction went from startled, cringing to smiling shyly – all in the matter of a few minutes. At the first opportunity, I dragged this friend to a corner and demanded angrily to know what was PAPs? “Prospective adoptive parents, my dear,” she exclaimed with a wide grin and disappeared into the gathering.

Photo: heartofthematterseminars.wordpress.com

I nearly had a panic attack. We were still not sure if we wanted a baby at all – whether through adoption or biological means (the idea of adopting a child had just stemmed in our mind as the ‘cynical us’ did not want to add another soul to this big, bad, overpopulated world. It was one of those thoughts we keep having like wanting to live in the hills or do farming). And here we were, being introduced as PAPs!

My first thought was, what if we do not adopt? What if we decide to be childless? Will we be castigated by the very same people, who are venerating us right now?

Photo: CSA Facebook

The next half hour was all about meeting at least five proud adoptive parents (APs, pronounced as apps), including our hosts parents Shibani and Vipul Prashad Jain, who are adoptive parents themselves and founders of a group called Catalysts for Social Action (CSA), a Pune-based NGO that helps find homes for rural orphans; the grand dame behind the cause, Bharati Das Gupta, one of the co-founders of CSA and grandmother to Jain’s adopted children; and well-known choreographer and adoptive parent Sandeep Soparrkar, who also happens to be CSA’s brand ambassador.

The flurry of introductions, congratulatory messages, stories of joy of parenthood and advice became so unbearable at one point of time that I unmindfully picked a glass of red wine from a passing steward. The husband gave me one of his cross-eyed looks, which I completely ignored. A Ninja fight was going on in my head, and wine would bring truce. If I could, I would have got myself into a medicated coma.

With the promise of taking the stage in next year’s charity dinner (adoptive parents under the tutelage of Soparrkar perform a dance repertoire at the charity event every year), we finally left the love fest, much later than we had initially planned for.

Life as a PAP is not an easy one. And it only gets more confusing if you are not totally sure if you want to be a parent in the first place.

Photo: facenfacts.com

It is a bitter sweet time – rife with a lot of ifs and buts; introspection and more introspection, debate over preferred gender and the resulting charge of gender discrimination (later, during the course of adopting procedure, I was told by this agency in Nanded that our insistence for a baby girl is in a way discriminatory after we said no to an adoptable baby boy), multiple calls to social workers of adoption agency and friends who are adoptive parents, seeking the services of an adoption counsellor to counsel fuming parents (in my case, parents-in-law), whether to keep it private or share with friends and family as one would do for any life event and above all, dealing with adoption cynics and people in your lives, who equate parenthood with apocalypse.

There are warm, gooey moments, too. We were pleasantly surprised by the support coming in from unexpected quarters, complete strangers (adoptive parents) opening their homes and hearts to us.

At times like these, it feels like all humanity is indeed one big family.

Photo: indiannewsandtimes.com

All adoptions in India are required to follow the procedure for in-country or inter-country adoption set out by the Central Adoption Resource Agency (CARA), which operates as part of the Ministry of Social Justice and Empowerment, Government of India.

Related Read: DCCW: A Cradle of Hope for Abandoned, Physically or Mentally Challenged Children

Although adopting looks like a seemingly simple procedure, yet it is wrought with often long waits as you have to complete a mountain of paperwork, cool your heels at numerous government offices for proofs that you are capable of taking care of a child, get a home study report that evaluates the conduciveness of the home environment, and wait in a serpentine queue of parents registered with adoption agencies that will match you with your child.

The last bit may sound confounding as we have millions of orphans in our country. True, but the number of adoptable (legally free to be adopted) children is extremely less.

Photo: Asianews.it

It’s been close to two years since we started the adoption procedure. But thanks to CSA, we were able to meet a baby girl and boy at a CARA-recognized children’s home in Nanded in less than two months of registering with CSA.

We traveled to the children’s home and came face to face with the reality of homeless children. The entire experience at the home was so emotionally overwhelming that we came back dumbfounded and without being able to make any decision.

Things remained in a limbo for a very long time and we went back to living our carefree lives. We even justified in our heads that we are better off without a child.

Photo: heavenschildren.wordpress.com

However, in a recent turn of events, which is nothing short of a miracle, the parents-in-law took upon themselves the onus of bringing in an adopted grand-daughter. We are about to meet a baby girl again. Hopefully, this time we will graduate from being PAPs to parents (I don’t like the APs term. Parents are parents. Right?) and get introduced as “meet the parents”.

– Rajeshwari Sharma

Like this story? Or have something to share? Write to us: contact@thebetterindia.com, or connect with us on Facebook and Twitter (@thebetterindia).

Thousands of orphaned children in India never find loving homes because the authorities take too long to declare them ‘free for adoption.’ Prabhavati Muthal, 79 years old and mother of two adopted orphans herself, has been fighting to get justice for these children all her life. We appeal to all our readers to support her by signing her petition.

“We are guilty of many errors and many faults, but our worst crime is abandoning the children, neglecting the fountain of life. Many of the things we need can wait. The child cannot. Right now is the time his bones are being formed, his blood is being made, and his senses are being developed. To him we cannot answer ‘tomorrow,’ his name is ‘today’.”

― Gabriela Mistral

“Aai tu Aai saarkhi nahi disat, Aaji sarkhi diste. Mala ‘Mummy Papa’ hawa aahe” 

(Mom you don’t look like a mom, you look like a grandma. I want my Mummy Papa!)

Mohini often used to say this to Prof. Prabhavati Muthal. Mohini was 5-years-old now and she had heard from her schoolmates that she had not come out of her mother’s womb but from a dirty sack, and because of that, her right arm was paralyzed.

Photo Credit: Tawheed Manzoor/Flickr

On November 30, 1996, Prof. Prabhavati Muthal had retired and was all set to relax for the rest of her life in Chandrapur, Maharashtra, after working for 35 years as a history professor. Her son was a well-known paediatrician at the local government hospital.

There was no orphanage in the town. Thus, unwanted and orphan (mostly newborn) babies landed in Dr. Muthal’s ward. Like all government hospital wards, this too was crowded. The nursing staff were always overloaded.

On March 30, 1997, a lady sarpanch from a nearby village brought a brutally battered newborn girl to Dr. Muthal. The baby was just 3 days old. She had been tied in a gunny bag and thrown in the garbage to die. Someone had found her and informed the sarpanch.

The girl was visibly injured. Her skull was fractured. Yet, for three days, the lady sarpanch had not provided her with any treatment nor had she informed the police. Consequently, the child became critically sick, developed a high fever and started convulsing.

Even then, the lady was reluctant to let the hospital keep the child and treat her. Dr. Muthal had to threaten her and force her to admit the child to the government hospital. On seeing how serious the child’s condition was, the lady sarpanch disappeared from the scene.

For weeks, the child hovered between life and death. One usually associates government staff with impersonal and callous behaviour, but the nurses at this government hospital rallied together to save the child. One of the sisters told Dr. Muthal: “God will not forgive us if we cannot save this child.”

Due to their untiring efforts, the child survived. But the prolonged battle for life had taken its toll. She was badly emaciated and cranky due to constant pain. She had major neurologic deficit, which left her right side paralysed. Feeding and cleaning her was an ordeal.

Prof. Prabhavati Muthal willingly took over this daunting task. With her selfless love and care, the child gradually improved. As she grew healthier, a beautiful face emerged. She looked so attractive that she was called ‘Mohini.’

Her story attracted a journalist’s attention and she became well known. Many people, including a doctor, came forward to adopt her. Suddenly, the lady sarpanch re-entered the scene and demanded custody of the child.

The custody of orphan children is decided by the JWB or Juvenile Welfare Board (the name for the Child Welfare Committee before the year 2000). To everybody’s surprise, the local JWB gave Mohini’s custody to the same sarpanch, ignoring better claimants and the lady’s past suspicious behaviour.

Alarmed, Prabhavati approached the Sessions Court. After a prolonged struggle lasting over 2 years, the Sessions Court finally overturned the JWB’s order.

Prabhavati then decided to establish an orphanage so that Mohini had a place to stay. The orphanage, called Kilbil (chirping of birds), is now 16 years old.

However, Mohini’s agony did not end here. The infuriated JWB avenged the situation by blocking her transfer to the orphanage for a year. Finally, her case was cleared by special order of the state government. The JWB continued to obstruct her rehabilitation. She was finally declared ‘free for adoption’ by the Session Court under section 7.3 of the Juvenile Justice Act after one more year.

‘Free For Adoption’ means that a child’s parents or guardians have relinquished their parental rights or have had them terminated in a court of law. Once this has occurred, a child is then ‘legally free’ to be adopted by another person or family member. Any orphan or abandoned or surrendered child, declared legally free for adoption by the Child Welfare Committee (CWC), is eligible for adoption.

“Most of the couples prefer small babies so that they can enjoy each milestone of the baby while growing up. If a child is not made ‘free for adoption’ soon, then mostly they don’t get adopted and lead an affectionless life,” says Prabhavati Muthal.

Unfortunately, in Mohini’s case too, all the prospective adoptive parents had given up by the time she became ‘free for adoption.’ No one was willing to wait for years and fight court battles just to adopt a physically impaired child.

When nobody came forward to adopt her for more than a year, Prabhavati decided to adopt Mohini herself and become a mother to a 4-year-old child at the age of 64.

Kilbil had now become the home of many abandoned children. Vasundhara (Vasu) was one of them. Just a few days old, Vasundhara was found in one of the movie theatres of Chandrapur. She did not have one ear. Every adoptive couple wanted a beautiful and flawless child and so did not adopt Vasu. It was Vasu’s 11th year in Kilbil. She was supposed to go to a remand house for juveniles once she became 12. Prabhavati couldn’t let this child go and so, once again, she took the legal guardianship of Vasundhara.

Vasu and Mohini are sisters with the same mother now!

At the time that Prabhavati was looking to adopt Mohini, the law required that to contest a case, you must be the ‘aggrieved party.’ This means you should be affected somehow by the case — it is only then that you have the ‘locus standi,’ that is, eligibility to participate in the judicial dispute.

Prabhavati had none, but she could participate in the dispute because lawmakers then (1986 version of the Juvenile Justice Act) had wisely put in Sec 7.3, which said:

“The powers conferred on the board or juvenile court by or under this act may also be exercised by the high court and the court of session, when the proceeding comes before them in appeal, revision or otherwise.” – Juvenile Justice Act 1986. Sec. 7.3 Chapter II

The word ‘otherwise’ opened the window for any conscientious citizen to seek redress from the Sessions Court purely on merit of the case, bypassing technicalities like ‘locus standi.’ The same clause also allowed the Sessions Court to declare Mohini ‘free for adoption.’

It is vital to keep this window open for the orphans, because they have no one to look after them. The orphanages that keep the children and the parents who adopt the children are really ‘beneficiaries’ and not truly ‘aggrieved.’ They have no real stake in any individual child.

The only victim of a wrong decision (or lack of decision) is the orphan child. The child is therefore, the only truly ‘aggrieved. ’

Picture for representation. Credit: J P Davidson/Flickr

Unfortunately, this Section was deleted only for orphan babies in the newer editions of the Act. The implications are tremendous for the orphan children, because now the CWC has absolute power over orphan children. There is no effective, accessible mechanism to correct its mistakes, misdeeds and inaction.

Please help Prabhavati make a representation to the government authorities to suitably amend the Juvenile Justice Act and include a clause like Sec. 7.3 of 1986 Juvenile Justice Act in the present Bill for orphan children by signing this petition.

Prabhavati has also penned the story of her struggle in a book titled Adhantari. This book has bagged an award from the Maharashtra government.

If you wish to help Prabhavati in her struggle for justice for these kids, or wish to donate for Kilbil, please email at kilbil.mvm@gmail.com. You can buy Adhantari (the book is in Marathi) by writing to the same email address. Prof. Muthal is also looking for writers who can translate the book into English.

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While many states in India have an alarming sex ratio and a large number of girls are still being abandoned and killed, it indeed comes as good news that couples looking to adopt in India prefer girls over boys. Is it the winds of change? 

Couples in India prefer girls over boys. To many this statement may seem false or perhaps the wishful thinking of a gender rights champion. After all, doesn’t one keep reading about how rampant gender biased sex selection is in the country and that, at present, the child sex ratio – 914 girls per 1000 boys – is the lowest since independence.

Okay, so it may indeed be a strange paradox but though these figures don’t paint a great picture it is also a fact that when it comes to adoption increasingly couples want to bring home a baby girl even if it means waiting for as long as six years for her.

While a majority of those who go in for adoption don’t have any biological children of their own, today, there is a growing trend of couples with one child being keen on adopting a girl as their second one.

Take Bengaluru-based Saumya Vishwanathan and her husband, Ranjith, who decided to adopt a baby girl after their firstborn, a boy, turned three. Of course, the decision to adopt, says Vishwanathan, had been taken even before the duo started planning their family.

“I work in the social sector and am more than familiar with the biases that a girl child faces, especially in north India. The skewed sex ratio in states like Haryana and Punjab is proof enough of the deep-rooted prejudice. Maybe it is because of this that I felt a social responsibility and had the strong urge to adopt a baby girl,” shares Vishwanathan, who is in her late thirties.

When she got married to Ranjith and told him about her wish he was a little taken aback. But she was fully prepared for such a reaction and so she sat him down to talk about her reasons for wanting to adopt a girl. “When I told him why I wanted to adopt a girl, he understood where I was coming from and agreed wholeheartedly. At the same time, both of us also agreed that we wanted a biological child, too – I wanted to experience the whole journey from pregnancy to childbirth. So, Ayan came along first and then, three years later, Masoom, our daughter filled our home with joy and laughter,” she says with a wide smile.

Obviously, convincing their respective parents wasn’t all that simple. “But as soon as they saw Masoom, who was 10-months-old when we brought her home, they instantly fell in love with her. Even Ayan was more than thrilled and these days he is every bit the doting older brother,” she adds.

Unlike Saumya and Ranjith, for Meenakshi Padmanabhan and her husband, Rajiv, the decision to go in for adoption came when they were unable to conceive even after 15 years of marriage.

“We tried to have our own child but fate, I guess, had other plans in store for us,” says Meenakshi, 45. While friends and relatives suggested they try different assisted reproductive options, including surrogacy, it was a chance meeting with a couple who had adopted a baby girl that changed their minds.

“There was no looking back then. We decided to go for adoption and were very sure that we wanted a baby girl,” she says. “Girls are warm and empathetic; they always look after their family, even after marriage and in old age. Okay, maybe I am being biased here, but this is what we’ve seen and truly believe. Also, the chemistry that the couple, Sam and Maria, shared with their daughter was wonderful and we wanted the same kind of connection with ours.”

Padmanabhan and Vishwanathan’s recount of their reasons for going in for the adoption of a baby girl are quite common. “In fact, whether it’s because of the movies, social service advertisements, or the real life experiences being shared publicly, the mindsets are definitely changing not just towards the practice of adoption itself but to the idea of bringing home a girl child,” elaborates Anu J. Singh, a former member of the Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA), an autonomous body under the Ministry of Women & Child Development (WCD), Government of India. The agency functions as the nodal body for adoption of children in India and is mandated to monitor and regulate in-country and inter-country adoptions.

In certain states there is a clear preference for girls. According to Mini Nair, a child counsellor and psychotherapist who works with several adoption agencies, “The preference for girl child adoption is especially higher in Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu [Chennai] and Karnataka [Bangalore]. In these places, the waiting period for a baby girl could run up to six years in some private adoption agencies. I know people who have looked elsewhere for adoption because of the long waiting time. However, if you go up north, in Haryana and Punjab, the trend evens out and the number of parents who want girls and boys is equal.”

As per the WCD Ministry, the official adoption numbers have been climbing steadily. Whereas in 2013-14, a total of 3,924 children were placed for adoption (in-country) of which 2,293 were girls and 1,631 were boys, in 2014-15, 2,300 girls were adopted in comparison to 1,688 boys. This year, between April and June, 518 girls and 298 boys have been placed for adoption.

It’s certainly good news that when it comes to adoption a greater number of girls are being placed into loving homes nowadays. Yet, at the same time, it does indicate that girls are still being abandoned and put up for adoption.

“This is why we were surprised when, after we gave our gender preference, we were told by the adoption agency that the wait would be long. I was under the impression that since so many girls are deserted in our country, it would take less time,” Padmanabhan remarks.

Although her reasoning is not wrong the reality is that the adoption process in India is a long-drawn and exhaustive one, and prospective parents are often faced with innumerable hurdles in the form of inordinate delays and complicated paperwork. Fortunately, the WCD Ministry is working towards changing all that. Says Women and Child Development Minister, Maneka Gandhi, “People have to wait for up to three to four years to adopt. That is inexcusable. I want to overhaul the system so that it doesn’t take more than four months.”

Gandhi has announced a target of 15,000 adoptions for the government-run agencies this year. And to make this possible a set of reforms have been proposed. Apart from simplifying the rules and shedding excessive bureaucratic caution, there is a move to set up an online application tracking system and launch a new foster-care programme as well. She hopes that the new guidelines governing adoption will “speed up the process and make the system more transparent”.

With more than 50,000 orphans in the country in need of a secure home, Gandhi says, “There will be zero tolerance for those agencies that delay the process of adoption or report unavailability of children.” Incidentally, there are 403 government-recognised adoption agencies in India. With new rules and a new, more progressive way of thinking, hundreds of unwanted children, especially girls, will hopefully get doting parents like the Padmanabhans.

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Every time our readers like and share TBI stories they are not just spreading positivity and hope, they are also creating an impact that may not at first be visible. Here’s one such story, of a young adoptive parent to a special child, which went viral and created ripples greater than we had imagined.

On January 1, 2016, Aditya Tiwari became the youngest single adoptive parent in India by legally adopting a special child Binny. He named him Avnish.

Aditya fought a 2-year-long battle against the system and society to become a single father.

On January 12, 2016, we wrote about ‘How Aditya Fought All Odds to Become India’s Youngest Single Parent to Adopt a Special Child’ and, like always, our readers helped us spread this positive story like wildfire. The article got lakhs of views and 33,000+ shares too (so far).

Avnish turned two on March 16, 2016. On this occasion, his father Aditya could not thank you all more for the huge impact you created simply by clicking ‘share’ on his story.

Here are some of the things that have happened in his life since the story was published on TBI:

1. Parents of children with Down’s Syndrome reached out to him for inspiration and help.

This was a message from a single father to Aditya after reading the story:

Aditya received loads of calls from parents who thought life had been unfair to them by giving them children with Down’s Syndrome. But here was a young single man who adopted a child with Down’s Syndrome and told the world it was a blessing for him.

“Parents of children with Down’s Syndrome called me from almost every part of the country and told me how my step has given strength to them,” says Aditya.

2. Aditya benefitted too. NGOs and physiotherapists reached out to support him.

The NGOs that had special kids helped him learn more about the disability and ways to deal with it, whereas many physiotherapists offered to treat Avnish for free.

“Ms. Rekha Ramchandran from Down Syndrome Federation of India called me after reading your article. Since then she is supporting me in any way possible to nurture Avnish,” Aditya informed The Better India.

3. The legal struggle and victories inspired many citizens.

In our previous article we had explained how Aditya had to fight a legal battle because the age bar for single adoptive parents in India was 30 and he was just 27 when he decided to adopt Avnish. He kept fighting the system until the age limit was reduced to 25.

“Atul Vidyalaya, Valsad, Gujarat, invited me as a chief guest on January 26, 2016. I was surprised by this and asked them why I was selected, as I had done nothing other than just adopting a child. The Principal replied that it was not just an adoption but it was a trend-setting decision and the struggle behind it makes me a hero. He said he would like the children of his school to become like me. That was the biggest compliment I could ever get,” says Aditya.

4. Thirty other children like Avnish, who were at the same orphanage as him, were also impacted.

During his struggle to adopt Avnish, Aditya came to know about 30 other kids who were illegally being sent to foreign countries. The adoption agency was reported and its licence was cancelled.

These 30 kids are legally registered now and a few of them have also been adopted.

5. HIV positive children will also have a home now.

After word spread, an NGO called Palawi from Pandharpur, Maharashtra, which had 98 HIV positive children, called Aditya. They told him these kids were not allowed to go to regular schools and were not accepted by society either, so the NGO had an in-house school and orphanage for them. However, these kids also long to have families but the NGO does not have permission to give them for adoption. Aditya, who is well-versed with adoption proceedings and laws by now, asked them to send all the documents immediately. He then forwarded them to CARA and the Central Government. Aditya is now fighting for the rights of these kids.

“It used to be that previously, if a child was born to an HIV positive mother, he/she used to be infected too. But now, with proper medication and good care, these babies become negative within 18 months. There are many parents who are ready to adopt these kids but we do not have the permission to give them for adoption. Being in a remote area, we explained our concern to the local authorities but did not know any other further procedures. My mother read the article about the legal battle that Aditya Ji fought for Avnish. So we called him to seek help. And he has been a great support since then,” says Dimple Ghadge of Palawi.

6. Law students got to learn a lot.

Aditya’s story became an interesting project for law students, who found an opportunity to learn about the adoption law through him. A few documentaries have already been made by law students on Aditya and Avnish – among these are two by LLM Pune University and Jai Hind College, Mumbai. Bhopal Jagran Lake City University is also making a film on them.

7. Foreign nationals sought help for adoption.

Aditya’s story reached foreign shores, and was also published in several magazines of UK and U.A.E, after which many foreign nationals called him to seek help with the adoption procedure in India. Aditya was more than happy to help them.

8. Aditya was the first man to be presented the ‘Real Life Hero’ award by his company, Barclays, on Women’s Day recently. Aditya takes pride in telling this to us.

9. Film makers have started contacting Aditya.

You might soon watch a film based on the life of Aditya and Avnish – a well-known Bollywood production house and a regional production house too have contacted him for the same.

10. The most wonderful impact.

Binny, who is Aditya’s son Avnish Tiwari now, has shown tremendous improvement since he became a part of Aditya’s family.

“I met the parents of a 10-year-old child with Down’s Syndrome before I adopted Avnish. They told me how difficult it is to raise such children. Avnish had 70-80% Down’s Syndrome. The doctors told me that he would never be able to walk in his life. But in just three months it seems his Down’s Syndrome is just 15-20%. He can hold and stand and tries to stand without support too sometimes. The parents of the 10-year-old child were surprised to see this and have invited me home to help them. My son has set an example for everyone,” says Aditya with a smile.

Like this story? Or have something to share? Write to us:contact@thebetterindia.com, or connect with us on Facebook and Twitter (@thebetterindia).

Petdom, an online dog adoption portal and app, has made adoption easier and less time consuming for prospective pet owners. With many dogs abandoned at shelters, the team at Petdom encourages adoption as opposed to buying.

If there’s an app for everything – from buying groceries online to finding plumbers – then it’s only logical that there’s an app to adopt a pet too. With the number of abandoned dogs that end up at shelters or with NGOs on the rise, it is becomingly increasingly difficult for these organisations to manage enough food and facilities. The solution is adoption.

The normal process of adoption is time consuming and cumbersome, sometimes driving away potential adopters. This is where Petdom steps in. Launched in January this year, it is a platform that brings together dog shelters and potential owners in a fool-proof setting. It takes the process of dog adoption online and on a mobile app, making it simple to find a nice home for a dog.

People can discover pets from the shelters near them, all with the click of a button.

For Udit Agarwal, who founded Petdom with Abhinav Tyagi, the idea resulted from his own experience when adopting a dog and watching others go through the same lengthy process. “There are no verified sources for finding pets and most of the pet classifieds are occupied by unethical breeders who breed dogs in very bad conditions,” he says, “Also, there are a million healthy pets in shelters waiting to find new homes. We want to enable people to easily find pets around them for adoption and then make the process really easy.”

His team, made up of pet-lovers with corporate and tech backgrounds, is tapping into the large want-to-adopt population in India.

According to Udit, adoption is still quite new and in its nascent stages in India. “Considering people bring home more than 100,000 dogs every year and the number is only increasing, adoption is going to be huge in India,” he says.

In fact, in just two months, the app has met with appreciable success, with more than a 1000 downloads.

“We’ve had a lot of people use our platform with more than a hundred adoption requests in the last 20 days,” he says, elated. “We’ve also had people from Tier B and Tier C cities use our platform. Every day, there is someone or the other in India who wants to adopt a pet. We have about 200+ unique visitors every day and these numbers are growing rapidly.”

With about 225 listings so far, Udit says at least 30 new ones are being added every day.

The Android app and its corresponding website have listings of many dogs and puppies that are up for adoption from shelters, NGOs and other pet owners across India.

“We work with animal organizations like People For Animals, Friendicoes and SPCA all over India,” says Udit. “After a user makes an adoption request on Petdom for a pet, he/she fills up a simple form with details about family and prior experience in having a pet, among other things. We get adopters to upload their house photos on our platform, because house checks are mandatory for a lot of pet parents.”

This information is then sent to the pet shelter organisation or the pet parents at the other end of the process. These shelters review the users and decide if they want to pursue their adoption requests.

Currently, the app and website use Facebook for login purposes to verify potential adopters and those putting up pets for adoption.

“The verifiability is ensured through their Facebook logins first and then the adoption form which asks for more specific details about their house, family, prior pet ownership, purpose of adoption, and the house photos for the shelter,” explains Udit. “This helps us weed out the bad adopters from the really interested ones and also alleviates the time-taking pet adoption process.”

Once the shelter or the pet owner accepts the profile of the user, the prospective adopter can go meet the pet. “It really depends on the adopter and the parent after that, to make multiple visits before the process is completed. We facilitate the process but the final call rests with the shelter,” he says.

“We counsel first time adopters and give them information about the entire pet parenting experience,” Udit says, introducing the concept of concierge services. This includes finding trainers, vets, and food for these pet owners. “Every pet owner has a unique relationship with his/her dog – some want guard dogs and others want them for companionship. We talk to these people and help them find what’s right for them and their pets.”

The team’s focus right now is only on dog adoption, simply because of the massive dog population in shelters in India.

Source: Facebook

“Our platform could support cats but we are deferring this right now until we can learn more about the entire process and make it even easier for the adopter and the parent,” he says.

The team works in a pet-friendly environment with a lot of stray dogs, and is headquartered in Delhi. It does not charge a single rupee for the use of the app or the website, keeping the process of adoption as welcoming and hassle-free as possible. “However, we do ask people for any donations that they’d like to share with us to keep the servers on and enable us to add more pets for adoption to Petdom,” Udit says.

Speaking of the dog breeds the team runs into most often, Udit says the Indian Pariah dog is ubiquitous in all the shelters. Then there are a lot Labradors, Pomeranians and Golden Retrievers too, many of whom end up injured or abandoned in shelters. “But it’s very hard to find Pugs, Rottweilers, and Dachshunds in shelters because their parents seldom abandon them,” he points out.

However, Udit speaks out for indigenous dogs, upset that most people in India don’t adopt what he calls ‘IndiDogs.’

Source: Wikimedia Commons

“People have their heart set on breeds for various reasons. It’s a huge problem because IndiDogs are very healthy, clean and lovely pets; they will love you as much as any breed dogs,” he explains. “It’s very important that we are able to get this fact across to our users as a lot of the puppies on Petdom are IndiPuppies.”

Other challenges include potential adopters who change their minds at the very last stage. And then there are pet shelters that are hesitant to try out an online platform for adoption.

Yet, the Petdom team is confident that dog adoption will pick up at a great pace once people are comfortable with it, virtually. “Petdom is seeing considerable usage in a very short time, which has also surprised us. We still have to reach out to more people and tell them there’s an easy way to adopt dogs rather than just buying them.”

Posted by Petdom on Wednesday, 20 January 2016

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Feeding dogs on the streets of Bengaluru, a corporate employee, 37-year-old Amee Mendez is a dog lover who has been looking out for man’s best friend with steely determination. She’s taking care of 44 rescued dogs in her Horamavu home in northeastern Bengaluru; she considers them her family.

Source: Facebook / Amee Mendez

Her journey started many years ago when she found an abandoned Pomeranian while she was headed to work. After asking around, she realized the dog was helpless and surviving on leftovers.

Mendez made her decision then; she decided to take care of the dog herself, unaware that this was a sign; it would lead to bigger things in the future.

“I could relate to her pain. I was also helpless after my grandmother died. I could see myself in her,” she told The New Indian Express. “I named her Betty.”

Source: Facebook / Amee Mendez

Mendez rescued another dog yesterday, offering shelter and a home to her four-legged friend. “I’ve always had a passion for animals,” she said, explaining that moving to the big city from Kerala, where she was raised, gave her a chance to find her niche.

Her parents are divorced and she lost her grandmother a few years ago. She found unconditional love with her pets and shared that she’d never planned to become an activist. Taking care of dogs feels natural; it’s something that was meant to happen.

Holding down a day job at Tesco hasn’t hindered her from continuing her quest to save dogs from the brutality of the streets. After work, every night, she steps out and offers food to the animals. She’s been soldiering on for eleven years, undeterred by obstacles such as irate neighbours who complained.

Source: Facebook / Amee Mendez

She usually takes care of the mothers and after ensuring the safety of the puppies gives them to other animal lovers looking to adopt. It’s harder to find people who want to adopt older dogs, there are a lot of pre-conceived notions.

Mendez has been forced to relocate to new apartments several times in different parts of the city. As the number of dogs under her care grew, complications arose. Finances became a major hurdle since Mendez essentially relied on her personal income to feed the dogs.

Today, she spends almost 60,000 rupees to make sure her pets are well-fed and healthy. Other animal lovers have also helped. A Good Samaritan she met on an animal forum acts as the dogs’ caretaker, looking after their safety.

Source: Facebook / Amee Mendez

Her love for animals has translated into a more responsible way of living; Mendez says she’s become more mature because of it. “I have changed as a person,” she added.

A campaign has been started on Milaap to help Amee Mendez raise funds for her beloved pets. If you would like to help out, please click here to donate towards building a home for Amee’s family.

Like this story? Or have something to share? Write to us: contact@thebetterindia.com, or connect with us on Facebook and Twitter (@thebetterindia).

Single mothers of adopted daughters talk about their heartwarming journeys into motherhood and the changing definition of a family.

On the outside, Suja Warrier and Malini Parmar have a few obvious things in common: both are single and successful women living in Bengaluru, they have had long corporate careers, and are passionate environmentalists and waste warriors. But look more closely and you will see how they have not only taken the road less travelled in their professional lives, but also in their personal ones.

 Suja Warrier and Malini Parmar are both single mothers to adopted daughters.

Suja and Malini speak candidly about their heart-warming journeys into motherhood, and how it’s high time that our society goes beyond the conventional definition of a family.

How the Journey Began

Suja: In 2004, after the devastating tsunami, I travelled to Nagapattinam with a bunch of volunteers. We were there to help out with the relief work. While most of my colleagues left in a few days, I decided to stay back alone. Eventually, I found many other people like me. It’s there that I met some of the finest minds. Something about that experience changed me forever. It changed my perspective of how I related to myself and others in life.

Since then, while working with the corporates, I built my life around social projects – largely what I call volunteer driven, zero budget projects. Through this time, I lived alone. At some point I decided to sponsor a child for her education. I started doing that and in sometime felt like it was not enough. I wanted to adopt a child.

At that point, I knew this was a radical decision to take. Knowing that I came from a very traditional family, I knew I would not gather support from them. But yet, I had made up my mind and my journey towards motherhood began.

Malini: I was about 26 years old when I heard about Sushmita Sen adopting a daughter. And she was a single mother. I was very inspired by this. I thought it was a wonderful way to build a family. Around the same time I started to volunteer a lot with programs that were benefiting children. So I was always in the company of children. But yet, I couldn’t take the next step. I struggled with the thought of adoption, but until I thought I was doing it as a favour to someone else, I couldn’t proceed. As I started reading up about adoption, about being a single parent, I discovered that I wasn’t doing any favour.  Adoption was my need. And that is when my adoption journey began. 

Becoming a Mother

Suja: I must say that my adoption journey was not an easy one. For one, I was a single parent and the processes were not as streamlined as they are today. Also, I lived alone and I didn’t have much support from my family. Given the situation, the adoption agencies recommended that I support a child who already lives in an institute. But I had made up my mind; I wanted my child to be with me, in my home. Finally, I met Ms Usha Pilla who helped me with this process. She travelled with me to Lathur, Maharashtra and that’s where the search for my daughter began. From Lathur I went alone to Udgir. Aftre a sleepless night I reached Udgir , visited many adoption agencies and met several children. Many of these children were not even available for adoption because the legal processes were not complete. I found my daughter there. And I called her Ameya – the boundless one. After a tough journey of over 24 hours in buses and trains, Ameya and I walked into an empty house.

The first few weeks were tough on both of us. Ameya did not connect to her new name and she held on to me all the time, fearing that I would abandon her. On the first day, I had left the house just for a few minutes to fetch groceries from a nearby shop, and when I returned she was crying loudly.

“I realized how she had trusted me, almost completely, though I was a complete stranger to her. Sometime in between all this, I realized that I had become a mother,” says Suja.

Malini: I had been researching for three years; talking to my mother, sister, and friends, and preparing myself for the process of adoption. And then, in December 2008, I remember while meditating, I felt some one call out to me and say ‘Mama, come quickly’. I took that as a cue, and by April I registered for adoption.

I had decided to adopt a healthy sibling pair; girls between the ages of three and five. The agency said they had found a match and I left for Orissa. When I reached there I realized the children I came there to meet were already being adopted by someone else.  Initially, I was disappointed, but then I felt if they are my children they would come to me.

My daughters were the first children I saw and met at the agency. And I completely fell in love with them. I named them Tara and Lila. I spent over a week with them and the other children at the agency before bringing them home.

That’s when I realized that I had done a lot of research around adoption, especially single parent adoption, but had done none on parenting. I brought my daughters home in July 2009 and I stayed at home with them for 6 months.

“The initial days were tough, I had no idea about parenting, we spoke different languages, but we got through it pretty well,” says Malini.

Talking to the Children About Adoption

Malini: When I adopted my children, they were two and a half and four and a half years old. Every evening we would read stories and I would use fairy tales to introduce the concept of adoption. So it was revealed to them very gradually. Today, I see them as children who are open about their lives and in fact very comfortable with it.

Suja: I also started talking to Ameya quite early and introduced the topic gradually. Recently, there was a talk in class about adoption and Ameya came back from school and told me that she felt proud to be an adopted daughter. I think we underestimate our children. They are way more mature than us.

Breaking the Myths About Single Parent Adoption

1. You can only become a mother if you give birth

Malini: My children are born from me; they are born from my heart, not my womb. I feel a great connection with my children, and the fact that we are together as a family today is a part of the plan of the universe. We were meant to be together.

Suja: I feel a very strong connection with Ameya. We both are so tuned into each other that we know what the other is thinking and feeling. It’s indescribable this connection. Yes, she was born from my heart- and it didn’t take nine months, but three and a half years.

2. A family needs to have a father and a mother

Malini: I think the definition of family is changing as we speak. And we, as a society, need to accept this. We have had a history of joint families, but yet when we speak about urban families we consider it as a unit with father, mother and children. This is a very western concept. So when my children present their family tree it’s very different from the others – my mother is a part of it, so is my sister, and there are many others. So my children’s family trees always have many more members than their friends. And they are very happy and proud about that.

3. Adopted children come with bad genes

Malini: I don’t subscribe to this idea at all. But sometimes I feel my kids have got better genes than me. Tara is a born athlete, I can’t run to save my life. Lila is a gymnast; I probably have the most inflexible body. They both are very competitive and we are hoping that they reach the Olympics. With my genes, that wouldn’t happen.

Suja: Ameya is extremely creative and very talented. And she can already speak six languages. I agree. Ameya definitely has better genes that what I could have given her.

     4. Adopted children go back to their birth parents

Malini: I have not felt threatened by these thoughts. See, I believe that my children’s family will grow. They will build strong bonds with many people through their lives. And I am only going to be happy about that. I want them to love and be loved.

Also, we have agreed as a family that when Tara is 18 and Lila is 16 we will go back and try and find their biological parents.

Suja: Yes, Ameya once told me that she wanted to go back and find her biological mother. And I told her that when she grows up she can, and I will go back to look for her biological mother. This thought has never worried me. Ameya and I share a unique bond. That I know.

Listen to the complete interview here:

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Guess what!

The Hyderabad-based Osmania University turned 100 this year!

And its alumni association has decided to adopt 100 villages in Telangana, as a token of gratitude and respect towards their alma mater.

Osmania University. Source: Wikimedia

An alumni association with an enviable strength of about 25,000 members, that includes engineers, businessmen, doctors, advocates and other professionals, the proposal is to recognize the problems faced by the villages with the help of district collectors and then progress accordingly with a plan of action.

“The state government has been promoting village adoption scheme and already public representatives, officials, celebrities and other important personalities have decided to adopt backward villages in the state and develop them. Our Osmanians will also take part in the programme and serve the state. The programme will begin from next month itself,” Osmania University Centenary Celebrations Alumni Committee chairman Anantula Shyam Mohan told TOI.

While infrastructure facilities like proper schools or hospital buildings is the need of the hour for some villages, some require to be supplied with medical care and attention. “A high-level committee will be constituted with some expert members on various issues such as doctors, engineers and businessmen to interact with officials and zero in on issues pertaining to the specific village and solve them,” Shyam Mohan added.

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Close to 8,700 gram panchayats come under the jurisdiction of Telangana, where only about 2,500 gram panchayats have been adopted by public representatives, according to TOI. The alumni members belonging to particular villages that fall under the chosen 100, also plan on taking up programmes such as medical camps and awareness on foreign jobs, benefiting the rural landscape of the state.

The 100-year-old university is known to have produced some of the many brilliant minds in the country that include former Prime Minister PV Narasimha Rao, former Lok Sabha speaker Shivraj Patil, distinguished film personalities like Shyam Benegal, and former RBI governor YV Reddy.

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Back when we were kids, a trip to the zoo was like a field day to quench our curious little minds.

As we grew up, zoo trips brought many of us to realise the deplorable conditions that these animals were often left in.

Ever felt like making the lives better for these animals but didn’t know how to?

With plans of launching an animal adoption scheme, the National Zoological Park in New Delhi is paving the way for animal lovers to go an extra mile for these animals.

The initiative was motioned after a suggestion made by Environment Minister Dr. Harsh Vardhan a couple of weeks back.

“We are exploring various options to start an animal adoption scheme at the Delhi Zoo. We would launch the scheme once we finalise the modalities,” Renu Singh, director of the National Zoological Park, told HT.

So the scheme will allow you to choose an animal and ‘adopt’ it.

By adopting the animal, you take care of the funds that will be used by the zoo authorities to buy food and medicines for them, and to meet general maintenance expenditures.

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Some of the added perks will include having your name displayed on the enclosure, an adoption certificate as well as free entry to the zoo for an entire year. And the best part is, you get to choose a name for your animal and even celebrate their birthday in the zoo premises.

Reportedly, you can can also be exempted from Income Tax under section 80 (G) of the Income-Tax Act in some special cases.

Though the initiative plans on covering all the animals in the zoo, the authorities are vouching for large animals like tigers, lions and elephants in the scheme, as they require maximum expenditure.

Many such initiatives have already been put to practice by zoos like Lucknow Zoo, Patna Zoo, Alipore Zoo in Kolkata, Mysore Zoo and Nandankanan in Odisha few years back.

“But there is a difference between the Delhi zoo and other zoos in the country. While the Delhi Zoo is the only zoo in the country directly run by the Union ministry, other zoos are managed by their respective state governments. Most of the other zoos that have launched adoption schemes are registered societies and can accept money in the adoption scheme. We can’t,” said Renu.

The zoo authorities in Delhi are currently doing their research on the various adoption schemes launched by zoos in the country as well as the ones abroad, in order to come up with a palpable scheme.

“It won’t be like other zoos as we can’t accept money directly. For that we have to register the zoo as a society, which would be a long and cumbersome process. So we are planning it differently and that is why we are exploring options,” she added.

The Delhi Zoo is currently planning a birthday bash for its animals. A white tiger named Vijay will be the first amid the pack that will have its first birthday party celebrated on July 21.

You can write to the National Zoological Park at nzpnewdelhi@gmail.com or call them on (011)24359825 or (011)24358500.

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Adoption conjures a mix of emotions. For some, it may seem as a quick remedy to bring a child into the house, and for others, an act of nobility. Some think of adoption as ‘Plan B’ while others view it as an opportunity to complete the family without getting into the travails of pregnancy yet again. Whatever be the driver, most parents carry an air of caution, loss, suspicion, grief and surprise around adoption.

Unlike law, religion, science, taxation, relations, marriage, careers and whole lot of domains prescribed at school and college education, adoption has completely escaped the attention of our educators. It is not part of any curriculum; there are no festivals dedicated to it; it is not enshrined in any political party’s manifesto and there are hardly any family or public conversations around it.

Whatever little people understand of adoption is largely fed through Bollywood and fiction in melodramatic overtones.

Here are 10 things you need to know about adoption to gain an objective understanding about it and to present the same to others with little knowledge about it:

1. Anyone can adopt: Adoption is not just the last recourse of couples affected by infertility. Families are increasingly choosing to adopt a child, irrespective of their need or ability to reproduce one. Many single parents also opt for adoption. The law does not differentiate between rural, urban, rich, poor, single, married or divorced status of the parent. It does not discriminate on the basis of religion or social status either. You don’t have to prove if you’re infertile, and you don’t have to give a reason as to why you want to adopt. Just be confident and rest assured that millions have tread this path, and that there is a support system available, should you need help.

2. Choose a legal and safe option: India has two perfectly legal options of adopting a child. The old method was to adopt a child under the Hindu Adoptions and Maintenance Act (HAMA), 1956, where only Hindus could adopt a child. There are several risks of adopting under HAMA. It must be understood that adoption under HAMA is not illegal. Just that HAMA being an old law, is not designed to support mass scale adoptions between strangers.

The second option is to register with the Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA) on their website www.cara.nic.in, where the entire process is online. You will be assigned a Unique All India Seniority, which does not change across the adoption cycle.

Soon after registration, your home study will be conducted by a Social Worker. Once your home study is approved and uploaded, you become eligible to receive a referral.

3. Yes, there is wait: Currently there are about 16,000 parents registered for adoption with CARA, with only less than 2,000 children. More than half of these children have a special need, leaving just about 400 children below two years of age who are legally free for adoption. This has resulted in a wait for about 15-18 months for getting your first referral. The wait time varies, and could be shorter for different preferences according to age, gender, state of the child.

4. Counselling is must: Even if you are aware of the overall process, it is a good idea to seek counselling in adoption. There are NGOs and adoption support groups that offer counselling. It helps you prepare for adoption, overcome the feeling of loss, connects you with the child and with other families trying to adopt. Genuine advice can help you decide which category to adopt from – immediate placement category, special need group, older children – from anywhere in India or from specific states.

Each parent is different and capable of supporting a different kind of child.

You may be able to save a few months of your wait by adopting a child that might have special needs. A good counsellor can suggest good books and videos and connect you with families, lawyers, doctors etc. and engage you in events associated with adoption.

6. Accept the child: Do not judge a child by his/herappearance. You’ll only increase the wait and delay the happy times in seeking multiple profiles. Adoption is not about ‘matching’ a child. It is about accepting one.

7. Refrain from extra medical tests: Each child that has been referred to you has been medically examined and the medical reports are available along with the referral. These reports are valid for 6 months. Don’t be tempted to conduct extra medical tests, unless it’s really necessary. Remember, a child loses up to 5% of his/her blood every time a new set of parents conducts their tests (blood test is the most basic requirement, in addition to other tests) and needs two weeks to recuperate the loss. Repeated tests by parents, sometimes week after week, cause extreme pain, trauma and setback to the child’s development. Even a perfectly healthy child may become sick with repeated exposure to tests, radiation, diagnostics and strain.

8. Talk about adoption: Contrary to what you see in films, it is absolute necessary to share you decision to adopt a child. It is your child’s right to be aware of his/her identity and it helps them discover their true potential. If you choose not to tell them, chances are they’ll discover on their own or through someone else, and they might not be able to process that information.

You will also come across several instances where you will have to share that your child was adopted, especially with the pediatrician. Make adoption a positive experience, rather than an undesirable one.

9. Accept the truth: There are certain things you need to accept as a parent, in order to experience joy and bliss through adoption. Your child indeed has birth parents. Refer to them with respect, especially during the growing up years of the child. Your child should never feel that his/her parents were incapable of taking care of him/her.

It’s possible that the child will have a different personality than yours. Allow him/her to realise his/her true potential. Do not thrust your wishes – moral, academic or emotional – on your child. Your child may live in the shadow of being different from you. Encourage the feeling of difference, rather than trying to curb it or ignore it.

10. Embrace Positive Adoption Language: Adoption is just another way of building a family. You need to make a conscious effort to make it a positive experience. Labelling the child as an ‘adopted’ child, comparing it with ‘real’ children, referring to adoption as ‘Plan B’ are a result of conditioning. Make no big deal about adoption. Share your values, beliefs and underlying message of humanity and love through adoption. Make your child feel comfortable with adoption and do not shy away from correcting, educating or sensitising the uninitiated folks when confronted with uncomfortable situations. Prepare your children to expect these situations and train them to deal with such occasions through Positive Adoption Language (PAL).

Life is a journey. Each one of us is blessed uniquely. Adoption may be the opportunity to rediscover ourselves, our hidden potentials and our ability to love and connect with another soul. And when in doubt, always keep the child’s best interest above everything else.

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